SHARE YOUR LOVE STORY

By Dolly Haik-Adams Berthelot

“T ell me a love story. Not one you’ve read or heard. One you’ve lived.” Robert Fulghum opens his charming True Love collection with that invitation.

I offer similar words to my Mine Your Memories clients. By a certain stage of life, everyone has experienced at least one love story, perhaps many. Maybe it was with your elementary classmate, your teenage boyfriend or girlfriend, an unrequited love or one that never came to fruition or never reached its full potential, a forbidden love that you braved anyway, maybe even a heartbreak from which you learned valuable lessons; or perhaps this love became a marriage that thrived all too briefly, or that

ultimately failed, or that lasted a lifetime, till death did you asunder. Maybe the love you

remember came as a complete surprise in your advanced elder years.

Each love story is precious, worth remembering, worth pondering, worth learning and

growing from, worth sharing—sharing now and passing on to the future. Perhaps sharing with your children or grandchildren or other family members, perhaps with strangers who need to hear just what your story can convey. Your story may make others laugh, or cry, or think, or learn, or remember their own loves.

Multiple value comes from giving special attention to your various personal experiences, and this new Mine Your Memories series will begin to help you do that with a variety of life story and memoir topics.

But we’ll start with Love, because, well, love is worth first place. Who doesn’t enjoy thinking about love, talking about love, remembering love, perhaps reminding yourself and your beloved of the love story you once shared or still share together? This Valentine season is a particularly good time to do all that, and consider gifting a love story or love story gift certificate to someone you love. The obvious and certainly worthy recipient is the one with whom you share a precious period or a lifetime of true love. Another option is to elicit, record, and write or have professionally written the romantic love story of someone you love nonromantically, perhaps your parents, grandparents, or a special friend.

The multi-faceted process of remembering, sharing, and preserving any life story can beneficially begin with Dr. Dolly’s Memory Mining for the Gems Within, and one of my favorite Mine Your Memories “prospecting” strategies is a good starting point. Today I share here a mental exercise I call Memory Video or Memory Movie—my tactic to help clients recall and review life, or segments of experiences, places, and persons as a film or video. Of course it’s best experienced working in person or in phone consultation, but you may try it yourself, right now, no charge. Even a few minutes will be beneficial.

Ideally, have a recorder or notebook and pen with you, for use after the reflection. Now read the rest of the instructions, then do this. Please sit or lie down and relax, wherever and however you are most comfortable. Take a slow, deep breath. Now two more slow, deep breaths. Now breathe naturally. Remember a significant love, in this case, a romantic love, whether present or past. Picture the person clearly, from top to bottom, at the moment you met or any moment when the relationship seem to actually start

or to leap forward. Mentally watch this memory as if you are enjoying a movie, a vivid movie. You are the star watching yourself and your costar, your beloved. This view is a medium shot that becomes a close up.

Picture yourself clearly in that moment. What are you each wearing? If you don’t recall, that’s ok. What might you each be wearing, based on what you know about each

of you at that time? Picture your respective haircut and hairstyle. Look at his or her eyes, and your own. Notice each of your facial expressions. Notice each of your body language. Take a breath. Eavesdrop on the dialogue exchanged. What is being said? By whom? What is the tone, inflection, volume, and pace of the words expressed? Why do they matter?

Breathe.Now pan outward for a larger view. Picture your surroundings, specific nature

and buildings if outside, specific interior if inside. What and who shares the space at that moment? Breathe. Hear any surrounding sounds, beyond the sounds of your voices. Pause. Breathe. Smell any smells, including any emanating from your beloved. Pause. Breathe. Aromas and fragrances and stenches are closely related to memory.

Ponder.What made that moment, this particular encounter, special? Why was it significant?

Stay with this memory as long as you like, then come back to Now.After a vigorous exhale, quickly jot or speak into the recorder everything you remember, think, and feel. Please do not try to write correctly or completely. Simply instantly grab words, phrases, thoughts, or feelings that come to you. They can become the first flecks of gold for future Love Story work.

As with any personal life story or memoir writing or oral sharing, the first recalled flickers of your love story could ultimately be developed into one carefully crafted page, or a short story, or a live or virtual oral tale, or a book chapter, or, with a year or two of solid commitment, perhaps an entire book. Everyone must decide what they want to gain from the exploration, sharing, and preservation—but that’s a future consideration.

Click here to hear Dr. Dolly orally present her MYM Love Story Memory Video for

you to experience.

Click here for a brief Dr. Dolly Berthelot bio. Dr. Dolly’s extensive web site, mineyourmemories1.com, can be informative and useful, but it is admittedly out of date. She is older now and is not able to do live in person workshops at this time, but the first few pages remain valid and the workshops shown can adapt to one-on-one professional work, or even your own efforts, without professional assistance. Some of the MYM material will show up in this series and in private consultations, which she now does mainly via phone appointments, emails, and texts, with English speaking clients from anywhere and, selectively, in person, in her Pensacola Bay front condo.

Should you have special topical requests for this series and or short questions that can be concisely answered, send a brief email here.

Should you wish to learn more immediately, click here to purchase an appointmentfor an introductory 15-minute phone consult. For a limited time that introductory phone appointment is $40. That step is required before any future in-person appointment or any longer commitment would be considered.

Click here to read an excerpt from a love story by Dr.Dolly.

Credits: Header image by mohamedHassan from Pixabay.

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